Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
