See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
