weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
