Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
