just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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