Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
