You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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