Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
