How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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