White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
