Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
