Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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