I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
