he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
