I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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