i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm at about main and main street
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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