Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
