How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
