We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
what day is it and did you see me today?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize