It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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