I'm going to jail i love you
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
