My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
