He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
