Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
this is an emotional support booty call
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize