it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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