how can u be prego again
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize