I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
wow bdsm is so cute
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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