Already got asked if we're dating
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
they're like a gay fantastic four
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
