he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
