I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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