god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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