In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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