Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
