i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
