just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
