they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
