one two three fourrrrnication!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
