I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We just shotgunned beers for America
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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