I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
