Need sex. Gaining weight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize