smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
