You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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