did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
