I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
