i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
