She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if only i could text you this smell
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Randomize
