its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
