i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
