Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
