Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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