3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
