never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
