I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
